Missing The Point

Missing The Point

She’s ‘gone off salmon’ she said                                                                                                                              

‘Not eaten it since your father died

And that was in seventy three.’

‘Well, it’s news to me.’

‘I went to the market, Friday.’

‘But you can’t stand  markets’ I protest.

‘I go every week  with Trevor.’

‘Well  - I never!’

‘I’ve got a really bad chest infection

but I’m allergic to that penicillin

and Benylin doesn’t relieve it.’

Allergic? You? I can’t believe it.’

‘Those M & S pants I bought are too long

I thought the ‘L’ on the ticket meant large,

They’ll need altering in length.’

                                ‘God, give me strength.’

‘Marjorie’s daughter sends her flowers,

Every week without fail.  Fancy,

 they come all that way from Australia.’

                                                ‘I’m such a failure!’

 ‘Peggy next door’s going away tomorrow,

Lucky thing - nice to have company on holiday.

Her son’s got a villa in Spain.

                                ‘Emotional blackmail again.’

‘When you’re shopping at Tesco tomorrow

Can you fetch my prescription from the chemist?

Teatime will do – there’s no rush.’

                                ‘ I think I’m having a hot flush.’

‘Our Norman came and fixed my gate,

He’d fell out with Joan, so he stayed for his tea,

He’s such a thoughtful lad.’

                                ‘Now, I’m getting really mad!

‘Anyway, I’d best be on my way, I’ve things to do,

I can’t sit here talking all day, much as you’d like

me to.  I’ll see you on Sunday at ten.

                                                ‘Forever, and ever,  A–bloody-men!’

Inspired by my mother-in-law and her mother Phyllis, God bless her :)