Runner Beans Are Frauds

Runner beans are not really runners

They just laze around on your plate

I've often watched them relaxing

 Lying there, still and prostrate

Butter beans are not made from butter

Or even from cheap margarine

The way they misrepresent themselves

To me seems almost obscene

Kidney beans don’t possess kidneys

or a heart or lungs or a brain

They don’t have a nervous system

A kidney bean never felt pain

Black-eyed beans do not have eyes

Not black, or green, or bright blue

If I saw a bean with a black eye

I'd think he'd been fighting - would you?

A Broad bean is hardly very broad

In fact, I’d describe them as slim

Broad beans are probably fitness freaks

And spend most of their time at the gym.

I've come to the final conclusion

That all beans are frauds; it transpires

They give themselves names they don't deserve.

Beans are frauds and compulsive little liars!